The following is an opinion by Joe Hadsall, and does not reflect the views of Ellusionist or its artists.
Free shipping worldwide? I’ve never seen anything like this.
Perhaps you’ve heard about our Free Worldwide Shipping Event? All it takes is an order of $75 that includes a shippable item. That, last I checked, is a phenomenally ridiculously good deal. Geriant Clarke has more:
I have been with Ellusionist since 2008. For six years, I’ve seen some pretty interesting stunts, promotions, events and programs. I’ve helped organize fundraising benefit auctions, done interviews with some unforgettable magicians, seen incredible, jaw-dropping magic and written everything from sales copy to contest rules.
But I have never seen free worldwide shipping. Never.
WTH? Whose idea was this? I know it wasn’t MY idea. International shipping is, as you know, crazy expensive. When country borders get involved, so do governments, which means customs, fees, duties and a whole bunch of other hidden charges. We’ve never made a dime of profit off of international shipping — everything our international customers pay in shipping goes toward the shipping. And those bills get higher than Snoop Dogg on 4/20.
And we’re gonna give that away for free.
I can’t even find the right emoticons to fully convey my shock at this. I thought about 😮 , 😯 or 😐 , but they don’t come close. Emoji were no help, either. I even looked for gifs that would fully communicate my feelings about this matter.
Not even close.
Forget about it.
Oh, you’re a DATA kind of person? Need to see evidence and facts? Fine. Here’s some quantifiable things I have seen more than the times Ellusionist has offered free shipping:
- • People Adam Wilber will NOT perform for.
- • Daniel Madison coin tricks.
- • $1,000 shopping spree winners from our Holiday Contests.
- • Guys who successfully used magic to pick up girls.
- • Good reivews of Criss Angel’s “Believe” (ZING!).
- • Truly invisible passes.
- • Talented YouTube exposers (just kidding, I’ve never seen any of those).
If you haven’t picked up on this by now, this is a big deal. This is going on for only a day (FINALLY, SOME REASON IN THIS MOMENTOUS MADNESS), so take advantage of this. There’s even an option to pay an extra $5 to jump the line. All the details, including some FAQs, are right here.
DO NOT MISS THIS. This is the perfect time to stock up on cards, give one of our bigger items a try or cash in a Black Club deck. Cash some of those savings bonds. Dip into your rainy day fund. Whatever it takes, as long as it’s legal: Can’t take Pyro with you to jail, yo.And there will never be a better time, because we’ll probably never do this again. I mean, if we do, I’ll have to find even more gifs, and I’m just not ready for that.